Bangamosha njani abantwana bomtshato wesibini emtshatweni ?, abantwana benyathela umtshato wam. Yintsomi eqhelekileyo: Udibana nendoda okanye intombazana entle. Icofa phakathi kwakho. Niza kuhlala kunye. Kwaye emva koko kuyavela ukuba ayicofi tu phakathi kwakho nabantwana bakhe (bakhe) bomtshato.
Kule nqaku, ndiya kukufundisa indlela yokujongana nale nto. Ukuba ulandela iingcebiso zam, kulula kunokuba ucinga.
Bebonke 7. Ufunda nam?
Icebiso 1: Yazi ukuba umntwana wakho womtshato wesibini ukujonga njengesisongelo
Uhlala esofeni ngayo nayiphi na imva kwemini yangeCawa. Kwaza ngequbuliso, ucango luvuleka, kwaye kukho umntu omaziyo ongamaziyo.
Loo mntu uthi: Molo apho.
Uyabuza: Ungubani?
Umntu osemnyango uyaphendula:
Ndingumhlobo womhlobo wakho omtsha. Kwaye ndiyeza kuhlala nani ukusukela ngoku.
Ndiyakwazi ukucinga ukuba oku kuya kuwa eluhlaza eluphahleni lwakho. Ukuba umntu umi nje emnyango kwakho, uthathe isigqibo sokuza kuhlala nawe.
Ingenzeka njani loo nto? Ngaba iseyindlu yakho? Yile nto abantwana abaninzi bomntwana ohamba kuyo xa utata wabo efumana intombi.
Ngaba uyaqonda ukuba uyakuhlala uyi-bogeyman?
Ngaphandle kokuba ulandele iingcebiso zam, uya kuhlala ungowasemzini kwihlabathi lomntwana wesibini.
Uvele umngene yena notata. Ubuncinci, emehlweni omntwana wesibini.
Ndiyaqonda ukuba uyathanda:
Ndinobudlelwane notata wakho. Kwaye kufuneka ujongane nayo.
Le yimeko eqhelekileyo. Ayimnandi kakhulu, kodwa kuya kufuneka uyiqhela.
Icebiso 2: Yazi ukuba ngumsebenzi wakho ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho womtshato uyakuthanda
Mamela:
Ukuba unobudlelwane nendoda enomntwana, kubalulekile kuye ukuba umntwana wakhe akuthande.
Inyaniso:
Kwiimeko ezininzi, ngekhe kwenzeke ukuba ube nobudlelwane ukuba umntwana akakuthandi. Utata uya kuhlala ekhetha umntwana wakhe.
Ubuncinci ukuba kulungile. Kungaba yinto ephambeneyo ukuba angaya kuwe, ngelixa ukuthembeka kwakhe kufuneka kulale nomntwana.
Qhubeka ngenyameko
Ngenxa yemeko ohamba kuyo ebomini bomntwana womtshato wesibini ngaphandle kokubuzwa, kubalulekile ukuba ukwenze ngokuchanekileyo. Awungekhe ungene nje kwaye ulindele ukwamkelwa ngezandla ezishushu.
Kuya kufuneka ke ngoko uthathe indlela enononophelo kwaye uthathele ingqalelo iimvakalelo zomntwana.
Ngaphandle kokuba unethamsanqa kwaye umntwana uyakuthanda kwasekuqaleni.
Kodwa oku kuyafana nokuba nethemba lokuba iNetherlands iya kuba ziintshatsheli rhoqo emva kweminyaka emibini. Ungayilindela, kodwa ithuba lokuba yenzeke lilincinci /, kwaye awunakulilawula.
Into onokuyenza ukuze uqinisekise nakowona mntwana usisi onzima ukuba uyapholisa yile:
Icebiso 3: Sukuma ngaphezulu komntwana ngokulandelelana
Eyona ndlela ikhawulezayo yokuhlukanisa umntwana wakho wesibini kukudlala umphathi kuye.
Sele ungumntu omtsha. Ukuba uza kudlala kwakhona intaka enegunya, ngekhe uzenze uthandwe yiyo.
Kukho amaxesha okubangumfazi owomeleleyo ozimeleyo.
Kodwa iliso ngeliso ngomntwana wakho wesibini, ocinga ukuba wenzani kule ndlu, ayisiyiyo enye yala maxesha.
Awunaxanduva lokukhulisa
Asingomntwana wakho. Ke ukusukela ngemini yoku-1, awunyanzelekanga ukuba uzibonakalise njengomzali.
Inombolo yakho yokuqala ye-1 kukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho wesibini akasakufumani njengesoyikiso.
Ukwenza oku ngokuya kuye uzolile kwaye unobubele.
Kwaye ukuba novelwano olukule meko.
Cela imvume kumntwana wakho wesibini
Inyaniso:
Ndingacinga ukuba usebenzisa indlela yokubuyela umva. Xa usegumbini nomntwana wakho wesibini kunye nomhlobo wakho, kwaye uyamanga.
… Emva koko ubuze umntwana wesibini ukuba oku kulungile. Yithi umzekelo:
Oh uxolo. Andazi ukuba uyifumana iyacaphukisa le nto. Ukuba kunjalo, asizukuyenza phambi kwakho.
Ukuba ungayiphatha ngokuzolileyo, kwaye uyenze ngendlela yabantu abadala, kwaye unike umntwana ithuba lokukhetha.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, uya kufumana imvume. Kwaye ukuba akunjalo, ubuncinci uzuze ukuzithemba.
Uthathela ingqalelo into efunwa ngumntwana. Ngenxa yoko, intlonipho phakathi kwenu iqala ukukhula.
Icebiso 4: Ungakhathali ngokobuqu
Ndineendaba ezimbi kuwe:
Umntwana wesibini uya kwenza yonke imizamo yokukufumana eshelufini.
Akakuchazi oku. Qaphela ukuba ujongene nantoni umntwana wesibini mva nje:
- Ukwahlukana. Abazali abahlukene.
- Amathandabuzo kunye nethemba lokuba oku ngenye imini kuya kuzaliseka.
- Lungelelanisa imeko entsha yokuphila kunye nokuphila.
- Intlungu encinci umntwana ngamnye anayo.
Ngaphandle kwento yokuba uqhawulo-mtshato aluphosakalanga, wonke umntwana ngokwemvelo uneengxaki zakhe ezincinci.
Lonke uxinzelelo luyakhululeka kuwe
Ukuba ufika kuloo nto, inokudibanisa yonke. Kwaye kunokubakho uxinzelelo oluninzi emntwaneni, oya kusabela kakuhle kuwe.
Ayothusi loo nto:
Awunguye kwaphela kuye okanye emehlweni akhe. Oko kukuthi ukuba awulandeli iingcebiso kweli nqaku. Ngenxa yoko, uya kuhlala uchazwa njengegusha emnyama.
Ndicebisa ngakumbi ukuyigcina indala. Kwaye ungahambisani neemfazwe zomntwana. Kunzima ngokwaneleyo ngaphandle kokuba ufuna ukulinganisa amandla akho kuye.
Ingcebiso 5: Yiba nguSanta Claus
Awunalo uxanduva lwemfundo. Oku kubonelela ngamathuba angenakuthelekiswa nanto.
Bendihlala ndino tamkhulu. Wayesoloko endinika ilekese okanye ingxowa yemali. Zizinto ezimbi. Wenza le nto ayifunayo kwaye wadibana nokuhamba.
Ngokwendalo oku kwamenza ukuba ngutatomkhulu wam endimthandayo.
Abazali bam abayifumananga impumelelo enjalo. Ebuntwaneni bukamama, wayengqongqo kakhulu.
Kodwa ngenxa yokuba waziphatha ngokunganyanisekanga kule meko, ndacinga ukuba uhlala. Ndimthandile. Ngelixa abanye ootatomkhulu noomakhulu babesoloko bekholelwa kakhulu, ndandingakwazi ukuvana kakhulu noko.
Kuba awunalo uxanduva emntwaneni kwaye yinombolo yakho ye-1 mission ukuba ngumhlobo nendodana okanye intombi yakho. Ucinga ukuba ndiza kukucebisa ntoni ngoku?
Yiba ngumama wesibini olungileyo
- Umzekelo, ukuba intombi yakho yesibini inenombolo, mnike ipokotho yakhe kwitheko lesikolo. Mnike i-wink kwaye uthi, Musa ukuxelela uTata.
- Ukuba mncinci umncinci, nika ngasese ikuki ukuba utata akajonganga. Yenze umdlalo.
- Thatha ngoku kwaye emva koko wenze into eyonwabisayo kuba kunokwenzeka.
Injongo yakho kukuba ube ngumama wesibini omnandi, ozenzekelayo kwaye uhlala ehlekisa naye. Injongo yakho ayikokunyoba umntwana wesibini ngezipho. Ayinakusebenza loo nto.
Kodwa kukho indlela esembindini ebalaseleyo, apho unganikezeli isohlwayo, kwaye uyonwaba.
Icebiso 6: Xelela iqabane lakho ukuba awufuni ukuba noxanduva lokukhulisa
Kungenzeka ukuba incoko encinci neqabane lakho iyafuneka. Ukuqiniseka ukuba ulindelo lwakho lusemgceni.
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uncedisa ekukhuliseni umntwana.
Kodwa unokubulela ngaloo nto.
Ukuba uye wangumhlobo nomntwana wesibini, ungasoloko uyenza loo nto
Kodwa kuqala kufuneka uyifikelele kwinqanaba lokuba wamkelekile ekhaya. Ukuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba ulwe ngamazwi kunye nomntwana womtshato kunye nalo lonke inyathelo olithathayo. Ngale ndlela, uthintela iingxaki ezininzi.
Kwaye ukuba wenze yonke into kakuhle emva kweenyanga ezintandathu ukuya kunyaka, ungasoloko uthatha uxanduva.
Isiphumo kukuba xa usebenzisa imithetho nzima kakhulu, umntwana womtshato wesibini akasayi kukuthanda. Kwaye uninzi lootata baya kukhetha abantwana babo xa kuziwa kulo.
Ukuba ufuna ukugcina ubudlelwane, kuya kufuneka ubengaphambi kwabo.
Icebiso 7: Uyaqonda ukuba abantwana ngoosomathuba?
Jonga:
Awuyi kuba nakho ukumela umntwana womtshato wokuqala. Oko kuyahambelana nokulindelweyo.
Kodwa ukuba ujika ukonwaba okanye ubonelele ngamathuba emali (njengomzekelo wepati yesikolo).
Ke abantwana ba-pragmatic nje ukuba bayamkele. Kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha besenza oko, uphakama kancinci ngokubhekisele kubo.
Ukuba bafumana izinto kuwe abangazifumani kubazali babo, ungena kudidi olungaphandle. Kwaye kulapho kanye ufuna ukuba khona.
Nokuba umlo ungabonakala ngathi mkhulu kangakanani na ekuqaleni.
Logama nje uyenza ibe mnandi ngalo lonke ixesha, iya kudlula ngokwendalo ukuze ungaze uphinde ujongane neengxaki zobudlelwane ezibangelwa ngumntwana wokutshata.
Hlala ngokwakho
Amanye amanyathelo abazali basayina ukuba kunzima. Yiyo leyo nayo
Kodwa impumelelo yobudlelwane bothando kusapho olusandula ukumiselwa kunokwenzeka. Gcina ezi ngcebiso zingasentla engqondweni kwaye uhlale ngokwakho.
Ungumntu. Ungathanda. Unokwenza iimpazamo. Unokufunda. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ugqibelele. Unayo yonke into ukunika olu sapho ithuba. Ke: ubumnene kakhulu kuwe nakumalungu osapho lwakho. Ngale ndlela unokwenza into entle ngokudibeneyo.
Ukubangumzali-wokukhulisa indima ngumceli mngeni onamacala amahle nawo. Ungumntu okhethekileyo kubomi babantwana kwaye ekugqibeleni unokufumana ubudlelwane kunye nabo ohlukileyo kunoko banabo abazali babo. Emva koko ube lixabiso elongeziweyo kubomi babantwana.
Kungenxa yoko le nto ikwabizwa ngokuba ngumzali ongaphezulu, umzali webhonasi okanye umzali wesipho.
Izalathiso:
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/feature/couples-counselling
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/marriage-counselling/about/pac-20385249?page=0&citems=10
Umfazi womtshato wesibini uchitha umtshato
https://www.webmd.com/unhealthy-marriage-signs-and-finding-help
Iziqulatho
- Icebiso 1: Yazi ukuba umntwana wakho womtshato wesibini ukujonga njengesisongelo
- Ngaba uyaqonda ukuba uyakuhlala uyi-bogeyman?
- Icebiso 2: Yazi ukuba ngumsebenzi wakho ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho womtshato uyakuthanda
- Qhubeka ngenyameko
- Icebiso 3: Sukuma ngaphezulu komntwana ngokulandelelana
- Awunaxanduva lokukhulisa
- Cela imvume kumntwana wakho wesibini
- Icebiso 4: Ungakhathali ngokobuqu
- Lonke uxinzelelo luyakhululeka kuwe
- Ingcebiso 5: Yiba nguSanta Claus
- Yiba ngumama wesibini olungileyo
- Icebiso 6: Xelela iqabane lakho ukuba awufuni ukuba noxanduva lokukhulisa
- Ukuba uye wangumhlobo nomntwana wesibini, ungasoloko uyenza loo nto
- Icebiso 7: Uyaqonda ukuba abantwana ngoosomathuba?
- Hlala ngokwakho